Funny Bone

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Comment by Tina on June 8, 2009 at 8:51am

This is just to cute ...

Two Little Boys

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and theirparents knew all about it.

If any mischief occurred in their town, the two boys were probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys..

The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, 'Do you know where God is, son?'

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, 'Where is God?'

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, 'Where is God?'

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, 'What happened?'

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, 'We are in BIG trouble this time,'

(I just LOVE reading this next line again and again:)

'GOD is missing, and they think we did it!'

Comment by Tina on May 22, 2009 at 9:55am

Little child's prayer!!!

"Dear God, This year please send
clothes for all those poor ladies in Grandpa's computer. Amen"!

Comment by Tina on May 6, 2009 at 5:48pm

An elderly man

An elderly man had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back.

It was deep enough for swimming, and he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts and some apple and peach trees.

One evening he decided to go down to the pond and look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, 'We're not coming out until you leave!'

The old man frowned, ' I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.' Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.'

Some old men can still think fast.

Comment by Tina on May 4, 2009 at 10:02am

Well you go to the MainPage ..at the top you see the different categories on the right side you find *Blog* click it up and on the right you'll find *Add a Block* click that ..write or add whatever you want ..and when you scroll down you'll find on the bottom right a preview button..and when you like it ..click Puplish and it will come up on the mainpage : )
I hope this could help you , if you got anymore questions, just look me up ...till then enjoy and have a blessed Day : )

Tina

Comment by jane on May 4, 2009 at 9:50am

how do you do that

Comment by Tina on May 4, 2009 at 9:47am

I worked in a nursinghome for 7 yrs and you could read a lot of what thi ole man said in their eyes ..thank you for sharing..maybe next time you added a a blog to the mainpage , so it wont be missed ..its a real good reminder ...
wishing you a blessed Day : )

Tina

Comment by jane on May 4, 2009 at 9:40am

That ones not a joke or anything funny but thru we all be there one day . read carefull see what you find

Comment by jane on May 4, 2009 at 9:31am

Crabby Old Man

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in North
Platte , Nebraska , it was believed that he had nothing left of any
value.

Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they
found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that
copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital

One nurse took her copy to Missouri . The old man's sole bequest to
posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News
Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health.

A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple,
but eloquent, poem.

And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now
the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Crabby Old Man

What do you see nurses? . . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man, . . not very wise,
Uncertain of habit . . . . . with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food . . . . . . and makes no reply
When you say in a loud voice . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . . the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . . . . . . lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am, . . .. . . as I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . ... . as I eat at your will
I'm a small child of Ten . . . . with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . . . . who love one another

A young boy of Sixteen . . with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty. . . . . .My heart gives a leap.
Remembering the vows . . . . that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . . . . . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . ... . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . . . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons . . have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . .. . . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, . Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . . My loved one and me ..

Dark days are upon me . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . . . . .. . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . . . . . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man . . . . and nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age. . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . . . . . . grace and vigor depart.
There is now a stone . . . . . . where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . A young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . . . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . . . . . life over again.

I think of the years . all too few . . . . . gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . . open and see....
Not a crabby old man Look closer . . see . . . ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might
brush aside without looking at the young soul within .

We will all, one day, be there, too!

Comment by Tina on May 4, 2009 at 6:43am

Grinss..uhmmm put a lil pillow on top and slightly push..that will help LOL...good to see yaa smiling ;o))

Huggies

Comment by Mike on May 4, 2009 at 12:33am

LOL Tina. You are finding some good one. Remember i just had surgery don't make me pop a stitch. LOL

Hugs

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